Hi, I’m Merlijn.
My goal is to help you step more fully into your authentic self, and find peace and happiness in your life.
My Story
I grew up in a competitive environment, and learned, the hard way, what difference mindset makes to your performance. But also, more importantly, to your life and your relationships! My teens were a rocky ride, but eventually I found relative peace and went to study Psychology in Amsterdam. After graduating, what most appealed to me was the world of business, where there seemed to be so many exciting opportunities. I rolled into a job in IT and worked as a project manager in software development for many years. In hindsight, it was the human factor, and in particular working with teams, that kept me going in this environment. IT itself wasn’t, and still isn’t, really my thing, really.
I’ve always been fascinated by how people achieve things and what makes them the way they are. From a young age I was drawn to Philosophy and Psychology and anything that helped me make sense of this world, and especially people.
I grew to love helping people grow personally, and I learned that has much more to do with how people look at the world and themselves than their skills or competencies.
Over the years my job became more coaching and less consultancy. I followed the resonance, as they say. Today I’m a certified life coach. I am accredited as a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) at the Co-Active Training Institute and as Professional Certified Coach (PCC) at the International Coach Federation (ICF).
For over 15 years now, I’ve had the privilege of coaching professionals through the intricacies of personal leadership, dealing with stress, balance in life, and nurturing meaningful relationships (with the self and with others).
What drives me today, is still the same: putting people in touch with their life energy that enables them to create the best possible life for themselves and others.
My Values & Beliefs
Co-creation
I see coaching as a collaborative partnership between the coach and the coachee. It’s a dynamic exchange of ideas, insights, and actions, where both parties actively contribute. Of course, YOU are the expert of your life, so that’s your part of the partnership! I, as the coach, acts as a facilitator, guiding the process and holding the space, fostering self-discovery, and enabling meaningful growth and transformation. Co-creation emphasizes mutual trust, respect, and openness, allowing for a deep understanding of the coachee’s needs, aspirations, and strengths.
Mindfulness
I believe in the power of Mindfulness! Mindfulness is the practice of purposefully bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves being fully engaged in the here and now, observing thoughts, feelings, sensations, and the surrounding environment with openness and curiosity. Mindfulness enables us to be with whatever life offers us; pleasure and pain, fame and shame, loss and gain, they are all the same. It enables us to stay equanimeous, and foster a greater sense of clarity, peace, and acceptance, by not clinging to or resisting things. Mindfulness leads to reduced stress, improved focus, enhanced emotional regulation, and greater overall well-being.
Patience & Self-compassion
The utmost important ingredients to personal growth are patience and a huge dose of self-compassion. Selfishness is actually a virtue, in the sense that you should put self-actualization first, before anything else. In order to be good to others, you need to learn to love yourself. But there is a catch here. “You” has little to do with how you identify yourself. Self-actualization means transcending your ego, i.e. your sense of self. Selfishness can never be a virtue when it means your actions have bad consequences for someone else or for yourself, in the long run. Your ego is a part of you, not all of you. It’s the vehicle, an instrument, through which your true self speaks. Learn to see it like that and learn to love the process that you really are.
Mental Fitness
Mental fitness means building the mental muscles you need to do the heavy lifting in life. One important muscle is the awareness muscle, seeing your “saboteurs” (our internal negative voices) and the resulting patterns of behaviour. This awareness enables you to use your self-command muscle, to prevent a saboteur hyjacking or to step out of it when you’re in it. It truly is about superpowers! It also means being able to connect with your authentic self, and the constructive mental muscles that enable clarity, resilience, and positive outcomes.
Deep connection
Deep connection is about deep listening and opening up to each other. Deep listening is like leaning in softly, with a willingness to be changed by what you’re hearing. When there is fear, we cut ourselves off from each other and there is no possibility for listening or connection. Deep connection is the anti-dote to fear. Coaching offers a safe and rich space that gives room for the process you’re in to unfold.
The wisdom of NO
Many people struggle with the inability to say no to things. It’s a fine art to master! Important to realise is that restraint is not the same as repression. It’s also not avoidance, or denial. It does not mean being judgemental about, or having aversion to what is arising. With wise restraint, we can open to every single part of our experience. Saying YES to things implies saying no to other things. Find out what you want to say yes and no to!
My Approach
My belief is that the stress and challenges we face are often of our own making, which means the key to overcoming them lies in cultivating self-awareness and mastering self-management – in other words, personal leadership.
To me, leadership is not about managing others; it’s about taking charge of our own lives, embracing our unique authenticity, and leading from within.
It’s easy to seek external solutions, but true growth comes from shedding old habits and beliefs that hold us back. It’s about unlearning as much as it is about learning. I’m deeply convinced that everyone has the potential to unlock their inner leader.
As your coach, I’m dedicated to helping you strengthen those mental muscles necessary for navigating life’s challenges and creating a fulfilling, abundant, and harmonious existence for yourself and those around you.
Testimonials
“Thank you Merlijn for taking me to my limits and beyond. Having you as a coach made me achieve more than I ever thought I could in this short period of time. Thank you for inspiring me to become, not only a better leader, but a better person as well.”
“I sought the help of Merlijn with heavy stress and burn-out like symptoms. Merlijn’s coaching was a transformative journey for me, where he guided me step by step to getting better in touch with my values. In only a few months time, we’ve made spectacular progress. A very grateful experience that I recommend to everyone.“
“In searching for my next step in my professional life, I needed a coach to help me find focus and direction. I surely found this with Merlijn. He is an energetic, positive and respectful coach. He supported me in finding my focus, by helping me define my vision, and my own needs. By acknowledging my competencies and qualities, Merlijn helped me to separate side issues from my main objectives. This brought me back my focus, energy and enjoyment in my work again. I am grateful for receiving his passion for clarity, leadership and coaching, and would recommend his services to anybody willing to take his personal or professional life to the next level.“
“Merlijn cuts through the bs and sets you straight. I’ve never been more clear in my head thanks to him. It takes hard work, but it’s worth it because life has become so much more exciting now I see what I want clearly and I’m no longer sleepwalking through it.”
“During Merlijn’s coaching sessions, I have been able to discover the best version of myself. I gained new insights about myself that I would never have found on my own. Through the coaching sessions with Merlijn, I have discovered what I stand for, what I want to pursue, and this has brought me a tremendous amount of peace and certainty. I couldn’t have achieved this on my own.”
“During the coaching period I really grew a lot. It felt like waking up. I still have my challenges but I go about them in a completely different way, because I know I am responsible for how I feel. The people around me also say I am much easier to be around than before. Considering coaching? Do it! You deserve it.”
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