In the previous article, we explored the Positive Intelligence framework, and how our saboteurs are the negative mental patterns that hijack our thoughts and emotions, leading to unnecessary suffering. We compared these saboteurs to the second arrow of Buddha’s allegory, which magnifies the pain already caused by the first arrow. In this article, we’ll build on that understanding by diving deeper into how the saboteurs can be understood as cognitive forms of the fight/flight/freeze response—our primal survival instincts.
The fight/flight/freeze response is an automatic reaction to perceived threats, preparing us to either confront, escape, or freeze in the face of danger. But in the modern world, these instincts don’t just occur in the body; they manifest on a cognitive level, influencing how we think and perceive challenges. In moments of stress or perceived danger—whether physical or emotional—our saboteurs activate as mental patterns that mirror these age-old survival responses.
By recognizing this connection, we can gain a deeper understanding of our saboteurs and how they function. Instead of viewing them merely as negative patterns, we can see them as cognitive manifestations of the fight/flight/freeze response, and this awareness can help us disarm these patterns more effectively.
Fight/Flight/Freeze: The Body’s Response to Threat
To understand how our saboteurs work, it’s important to first grasp the fight/flight/freeze response in its traditional, physical form. When we encounter a threat, our body reacts automatically:
- Fight: Confronting or resisting the threat with aggression or force.
- Flight: Escaping or avoiding the threat in order to find safety.
- Freeze: Becoming immobilized or numb when the threat feels overwhelming.
In ancient times, these responses helped our ancestors survive physical danger. Today, while the threats we face are often psychological—stress, conflict, failure, or uncertainty—our minds still activate these survival mechanisms.
Saboteurs as Cognitive Fight/Flight/Freeze Reactions
The saboteurs in the Positive Intelligence framework can be viewed as mental expressions of the same fight/flight/freeze instincts. Just as our bodies react physically to threats, our minds react cognitively. Our saboteurs trigger these automatic survival responses, distorting our perceptions, creating emotional turmoil, and preventing us from responding effectively to challenges. Let’s explore how each response shows up in our thinking patterns:
Fight Responses: Saboteurs of Confrontation
The fight response in the mind often manifests as conflict, criticism, or aggression, whether directed inwardly or outwardly. These cognitive saboteurs cause us to engage in mental combat, either with ourselves or others, in ways that don’t serve us. The saboteurs linked to the fight response include:
- Judge: The internal critic that attacks ourselves or others, pointing out flaws, faults, or mistakes. This constant judgment creates conflict, whether with others or within ourselves, and makes it hard to experience peace or resolution.
- Controller: The need to dominate or manipulate the situation, ensuring that things go our way. The Controller saboteur operates from a place of fear, seeking to fight against uncertainty or chaos by controlling external factors.
- Hyper-Achiever: Driven by the need to prove oneself or win, often pushing through challenges without considering the emotional costs. This saboteur causes us to fight for success and recognition, often to the detriment of our well-being.
These saboteurs engage in a mental “battle,” creating stress, frustration, and conflict, ultimately taking us further from our centre. The more we fight with our thoughts, the more trapped we become in negative cycles.
Flight Responses: Saboteurs of Avoidance
The flight response manifests when we seek to escape or avoid what we perceive as threatening or uncomfortable. In the cognitive realm, flight responses can show up as procrastination, distraction, or denial. Saboteurs that embody this flight response include:
- Avoider: The desire to sidestep discomfort, conflict, or difficult emotions. The Avoider saboteur prevents us from dealing with tough situations, opting instead for temporary distractions or denial.
- Restless: The need for constant stimulation or change, leading to a flight from stillness, reflection, or difficult emotional work. The Restless mind bounces from one task or idea to the next, avoiding the present moment and the discomfort of staying with one thing.
- Pleaser: The desire to gain approval and avoid conflict at all costs. The Pleaser will often flee from difficult truths, instead doing whatever is necessary to please others or maintain harmony, even if it means suppressing their own needs.
These saboteurs are the mind’s way of fleeing from discomfort. They prevent us from facing important emotions or situations, but by avoiding them, we only make the situation worse. Avoidance can lead to anxiety, stress, and a constant feeling of being out of control.
Freeze Responses: Saboteurs of Inaction
The freeze response is activated when we feel so overwhelmed by a threat that we shut down or become immobilized. On a cognitive level, this can result in paralysis, inactivity, or disengagement. Saboteurs associated with freezing often manifest as perfectionism, overthinking, or feeling helpless.
These include:
- Stickler: The need for perfection, where nothing is good enough unless it meets impossibly high standards. The Stickler can freeze us into inaction, as we become paralyzed by the desire for everything to be flawless before we take a step.
- Hyper-Rational: The tendency to overanalyze and detach from emotions, often freezing us in a cycle of overthinking that prevents us from making decisions or taking action. The Hyper-Rational saboteur keeps us stuck in a loop of analysis, afraid to act until everything is logically perfect.
- Victim: The sense of powerlessness or helplessness that comes from believing you have no control. The Victim freeze response leads to feelings of being stuck and unable to make progress, even when a solution may be within reach.
These saboteurs often freeze us mentally and emotionally, preventing us from moving forward. When we feel overwhelmed or unsure, these mental freezes trap us in a state of inaction, making it harder to take the necessary steps toward change.
Recognizing and Breaking the Cycle
Understanding the link between the fight/flight/freeze response and the saboteurs gives us a powerful tool for breaking free from negative thinking patterns. By recognizing when these automatic reactions are activated, we can interrupt the cycle and choose a more mindful response.
1. Awareness
The first step in breaking the saboteur cycle is recognizing when these responses are triggered. Ask yourself:
- Am I engaging in mental combat, attacking myself or others?
- Am I avoiding something uncomfortable, rather than facing it?
- Am I feeling paralyzed, unable to move forward or make decisions?
Recognizing the cognitive “fight, flight, or freeze” pattern is the first step to interrupting it.
2. Pause and Breathe
When triggered, take a moment to pause and breathe. This simple practice can help you break the automatic reaction cycle and create space for a more mindful response.
3. Engage the Sage
In Positive Intelligence, the Sage is the part of us that responds with empathy, creativity, and wisdom. When you feel the saboteurs activating, engage your Sage by asking:
- What is the lesson here?
- How can I respond with wisdom and compassion?
- What is the most courageous action I can take in this moment?
By activating the Sage, we shift from automatic survival reactions to mindful, deliberate responses.
Conclusion: Breaking Free from Saboteurs
Our saboteurs are not just negative mental patterns—they are cognitive forms of the fight/flight/freeze survival responses. By recognizing this link, we can begin to understand and disarm these patterns more effectively.
When we observe our saboteurs as mental survival mechanisms, we can better identify when we are reacting to stress or perceived threats. By recognizing these reactions, we can pause, engage our Sage, and choose responses that align with our deeper values.
By breaking free from the grip of these cognitive survival responses, we can regain control of our thoughts and emotions, leading to a more centred, peaceful, and empowered life.
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